So it's been almost 5 months since Beck passed away and until last week we have not taken a single picture down from his funeral. If you don't know, we had his service at our house and I covered one entire wall in our dining room with his pictures and scattered many more around the house. I haven't been able to take them down, and I look at them all the time.
Last weekend, Forrest and I were making dinner and I just said that I was ready to take them down. So we ate dinner, I cried and then I took them down one by one. Everytime I took one down, we talked about when the picture was taken and how we much we remember that time...I even kissed a couple of them like he was still here. It was a really sweet thing, once we had them all down, we put up our old pictures that we had previously on the wall and our dining room was back to the way it was. We decided to frame 4 of pictures of Beck, and put them around the house as tiny tributes. After it was all said and done, I felt so good!
Taking down those pictures spoke to the the way life is. As our lives move forward, Beck will not always be right in front of our face and thought of every second of everyday. He will be scattered, sweet memories in our mind like the pictures in our house. He will always be a special part of who we are, but he will not be all of who we are.
Now when I am in our house, I feel somewhat normal. As I walk through the different rooms, I feel little bits of Beck around me and it feels nice...and every now and then, I kiss his picture remembering him and that special time...